List of No Such Thing as a Fish episodes
No Such Thing as a Fish is a weekly British podcast series produced and presented by the researchers behind the BBC Two panel game QI known as "The QI Elves".
In it, presenters, most regularly James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski and Dan Schreiber, present their favourite facts from that week.[1]
Episodes
Weekly episodes
# | Title | Presenters | Original airdate |
---|---|---|---|
1 | "No Such Thing as a Pilot Fish"[2] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 8 March 2014 |
The Large Hadron Collider was turned off for a short period of time because a piece of baguette was found in the machinery. (Harkin) For the last month of his life, James A. Garfield ate everything through his anus. (Ptaszynski) In 2013, six people in the United States named their child "Mushroom". (Harkin) The person who found Richard III of England's bones, Philippa Langley, was not an archeologist, but a screenwriter. (Schreiber) | |||
2 | "No Such Thing As Death By Acne"[3] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 14 March 2014 |
The first ever sandwich that we know about contained wine. (Ptaszynski) In 2003, three people in Mexico were officially listed as having died of acne. (Harkin) Amongst the other scientists called Einstein there is M.E. Einstein who came up with a formula for predicting the composition of a pork carcass, and Rosemary Einstein who co-investigated the use of cannabis, alcohol and tobacco on 300 young persons at her university. (Schreiber) The first contact lenses cost as much as a car. (Murray) | |||
3 | "No Such Thing As The Middle Ages"[4] | Harkin, Ptaszynski, Schreiber, Alex Edelman and Greg Jenner | 21 March 2014 |
The earliest known dentistry is 9,000 years old. (Jenner) According to the phantom time hypothesis, the Middle Ages never happened. (Schreiber) The most indispensable sea creature in the United States is the horseshoe crab, due to its blood being used for medical purposes. (Edelman) 28 women were known to have slept in the same bedroom as Elizabeth I of England. (Harkin) | |||
4 | "No Such Thing As The Mountains of Kong"[5] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 28 March 2014 |
30 million Chinese people live in caves. (Schreiber) There is a banker in Latvia who will lend you money using your immortal soul as security. (Harkin) For 100 years, almost all maps of Africa contained a mountain range that did not exist, called the Mountains of Kong. (Ptaszynski) Male Pennsylvania grass spiders are more likely to approach a female for sex if she has recently killed and eaten another male. (Murray) | |||
5 | "No Such Thing As A Kiss"[6] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 4 April 2014 |
Rats, namely Josephoartigasia monesi, were once the size of hippos. (Ptaszynski) During his 27-year reign, Pope John Paul II took over 100 skiing vacations. (Schreiber) 100 years ago a quarter of the residents of New York City would move house on every single 1 May, at exactly 9 am. (Harkin) Nobody knows why we kiss. (Murray) | |||
6 | "No Such Thing As One Direction in North Korea"[7] | Harkin, Murray, Molly Oldfield and Marc Abrahams | 11 April 2014 |
Some plastic surgeons operated on a Belgian man to make him look more like Michael Jackson. (Abrahams) The largest Viking ship ever discovered was found when renovating the Roskilde Viking Ship Museum (Oldfield) The tobacco hornworm uses extremely bad halitosis to protect itself. (Murray) During this podcast you could have fallen asleep up to five times and not have known about it. (Harkin) | |||
7 | "No Such Thing As The Loch Ness Monster"[8] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 18 April 2014 |
A computer game has been invented that takes more than a lifetime to complete. (Harkin) 2013 was the first year since 1933 where there has been no sighting of the Loch Ness Monster. (Schreiber) The French government forced Madame Tussaud to make models of her friends' decapitated heads. (Ptaszynski) During the Normandy landings the Allied Forces dropped dogs by parachute onto the battlefield. (Murray) | |||
8 | "No Such Thing As A Swear Word on the Moon"[9] | Harkin, Ptaszynski, Schreiber and Alex Bell | 25 April 2014 |
One of the last things that NASA had to do before launching space shuttles was to detach their inflatable owls that were used to scare woodpeckers. (Bell) The music used on the You Wouldn't Steal a Car anti-piracy advert was stolen by the people who made the advert. (Schreiber) According to the government website of the Czech Republic there are three symbols of Easter in the country: Easter eggs, the Easter lamb and whipping. (Harkin) At Earl's Court tube station, in 1911, a one-legged man named "Bumper Harris" was hired to ride the escalator. (Ptaszynski) | |||
9 | "No Such Thing As A Word For 'Silent Fart'"[10] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 2 May 2014 |
It was fashionable in New York City at the end of 19th century for women to wear live lizards as brooches. (Harkin) Codebreaker Alan Turing lost his buried treasure when he could not crack his own code. (Schreiber) In 2011, the largest sperm bank in the world stopped accepting sperm from redheads. (Ptaszynski) The English language has more words borrowed from the Hawaiian language than it does from the Welsh language. (Murray) | |||
10 | "No Such Thing As A Soggy Monk"[11] | Harkin, Murray, Schreiber, Anne Miller and Eric Lampaert | 9 May 2014 |
In 1923, jockey Frank Hayes won a race, despite dying of a heart attack while riding his horse. (Lampaert) Some Buddhist monks run marathons to achieve enlightenment. (Schreiber) The Slovakian and Slovenian embassies in Washington D.C. meet once a month to exchange wrongly addressed mail. (Harkin) In the 18th century there were medicines called "Alan's Nipple Liniment", "Grimstone's Eye Snuff", "Miller's Worm Plums" and "Italian Bosom Friend". (Murray) | |||
11 | "No Such Thing As A Doorknob in Vancouver"[12] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 16 May 2014 |
The words "Tory" and "Prime Minister" both started out as insults. (Murray) In a 2005 questionnaire about substance abuse, almost one in five people taking part admitted to taking a drug that did not exist called derbisol. (Ptaszynski) Sea otters have a secret pocket in their armpit where they like to keep their favourite stones. (Schreiber) In Vancouver it is illegal to put a doorknob on the front door of a house as it is harder for people to open if they suffer from arthritis. (Harkin) | |||
12 | "No Such Thing As A 164 Foot Tall Gorilla-Whale"[13] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 23 May 2014 |
If the 2014 version of Godzilla really existed, it would produce 12.9 million gallons of urine a day. (Harkin) The real Long John Silver – William Ernest Henley, was the father of the real Wendy Darling – Margaret Henley. (Ptaszynski) The tin foil hat worn by conspiracy theorists to stop the government sending messages into their brains actually has the opposite effect. It amplifies the signal. (Schreiber) Geese sometimes fly upside-down to lose height quickly when they come into land. (Murray) | |||
13 | "No Such Thing As A Funny Nazi"[14] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski, Schreiber and Lieven Scheire | 30 May 2014 |
During World War II, the Nazi Party employed two official Nazi comedians called Tran and Helle. (Scheire) The Philippine Basketball Association, the second oldest such association in the world, has ten teams in total, including the Rain or Shine Elasto Painters, the San Miguel Beermen, and the Talk 'N Text Tropang Texters. (Schreiber) If you get a zebrafish drunk, and put that zebrafish in a tank full of sober zebrafish, the sober ones will follow the drunk one around. (Ptaszynski) The youngest woolly mammoths are younger than the oldest Egyptian pharaohs. (Murray) | |||
14 | "No Such Thing As A Dirty Pair of Jeans"[15] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski, Schreiber and Freddy Soames | 7 June 2014 |
The CEO of Levi's, Chip Bergh, hasn't washed his jeans in more than a year. (Harkin) During the first successful transatlantic flight, by Alcock and Brown, the pilots got lost in midair, entered some cloud and fog, and when they got out of the cloud and fog, they found they were just 60 feet above the water, and flying at a 90° angle. (Schreiber) In 2007, a woman called Evan Lattimer inherited Napoleon Bonaparte's penis from her father. (Ptaszynski) To say "I don't care about something", a German has the option of saying: "das ist mir Wurst". This translates into English as: "It's sausage to me". (Murray) | |||
15 | "No Such Thing As A Bulge in Ken's Groin"[16] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 28 June 2014 |
The Aztecs wore necklaces made out of popcorn. (Harkin) In 2011, China tried to pass off a scene from the film Top Gun as footage from its own air force. (Ptaszynski) In 2003, somebody misplaced the masterkeys to the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, thus meaning they had to replace the locks, at a cost of $1,000,700. (Schreiber) The children's toy doll Ken is officially an accessory to Barbie. (Murray) | |||
16 | "No Such Thing As A Ghost in Poland"[17] | Alex Bell, Harkin, Anne Miller, Ptaszynski, Schreiber | 5 July 2014 |
The World Record for the most kicks to one's own head is 127 in a minute. (Harkin) There is a bear in the Pyrenees which is facing castration because he has fathered nearly all the other bears in the area. (Miller) Poland's only official ghost hunter thinks that ghosts have given up on haunting humans. (Schreiber) Nuclear fallout from the Cold War is being used to solve murders. (Ptaszynski) | |||
17 | "No Such Thing As A Bassoon in a Football Stadium[fn 1]"[18] | Harkin, John Lloyd, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 11 July 2014 |
The first known football chant was composed by Edward Elgar. (Ptaszynski) Eric Cantona was raised in a cave. (Schreiber) In the first World Cup final, Uruguay and Argentina could not agree on the size of the ball to use, so they used Argentina's small ball in the first half and Uruguay's big ball in the second. After half time Argentina were 2–1 up, but by the end Uruguay won 4–2. (Harkin) FIFA has more members than the United Nations. (Lloyd) | |||
18 | "No Such Thing As A Kilt on the Battlefield"[19] | Harkin, Ptaszynski, Schreiber and Richard Turner | 18 July 2014 |
When Neil Armstrong stepped on the Moon and said "That's one small step for man", he was wearing ladies underwear. (Turner) In 1963, Muhammad Ali released a stand-up comedy album. (Schreiber) In 1325, in Italy, a war was declared and 2,000 people were killed because of a stolen bucket. (Ptaszynski) There is a group of chimpanzees in Zambia who wear a blade of grass in their left ear as a fashion statement. (Harkin) | |||
19 | "No Such Thing As Unicorn Stew"[20] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 25 July 2014 |
A kangaroo's tail is used as a leg, so they have either three or five legs. (Harkin) During the financial crisis of 1720, known as the South Sea Bubble, the Houses of Parliament called for stockbrokers to be sewn into sacks filled with poisonous snakes and thrown into the River Thames. (Ptaszynski) There are three times as many estate agents in the UK as there are members of the British Armed Forces. (Murray) Medieval manuscripts are littered with drawings of warfare between snails and knights. No-one knows why. (Schreiber) | |||
20 | "No Such Thing As A Dangerous Daffodil"[21] | Harkin, Anne Miller, Murray and Schreiber | 1 August 2014 |
The most painful place on the human body to be stung by a bee is the nostril. (Harkin) For breakfast, Walt Disney ate fresh doughnuts dunked in Scotch whisky. (Schreiber) The French word for arsenic used to be "poudre de succession" or "inheritance powder", because it was used in so many murders. (Miller) Shouting at drivers improves their driving. (Murray) | |||
21 | "No Such Thing As A Testicle-Retracting Sumo Wrestler"[22] | Alex Bell, Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 8 August 2014 |
"Made in Germany" product labels were originally invented to put people off buying the product. (Ptaszynski) In 1991, Prof. Alexander Abian of Iowa State University proposed that we could solve virtually every problem of human existence by blowing up the Moon. (Schreiber) In New York City, until 1925, drivers going east or west stopped at an amber traffic light and drove on green, while drivers going north or south drove on an amber light and stopped on green. (Harkin) There are companies which lasso icebergs to stop them hitting oil rigs. (Murray) | |||
22 | "No Such Thing As A Magic Camel Filter"[23] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 15 August 2014 |
In 1903, a man called W. Reginald Bray posted himself. (Harkin) The world's oldest ham has just celebrated its 112th birthday. (Schreiber) Orangutans like playing with iPads, but gorillas do not. (Ptaszynski) In the 1888 edition of Encyclopædia Britannica the entry for Wales reads: "See England". (Murray) | |||
23 | "No Such Thing As A Yawning Psychopath"[24] | Alex Bell, Harkin, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 22 August 2014 |
Alexander the Great banned beards in battle to combat beard-pulling. (Ptaszynski) Psychopaths do not experience contagious yawning as often as non-psychopaths. (Schreiber) The Big Bang was quieter than a Motörhead concert. (Harkin) Pixar accidentally deleted Toy Story 2 while they were half-way through making it. (Bell) | |||
24 | "No Such Thing As A Malicious Robot"[25] | Alex Bell, Harkin, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 29 August 2014 |
When he was bored Calvin Coolidge used to ring a bell to summon his bodyguards and then hide from them under the Oval Office desk. (Bell) Until 2011 the Sun was only in theory a sphere, but it has since been confirmed that it is actually a sphere. (Schreiber) There are some bird's nests that contain over 100 rooms and are so heavy they cause trees to fall down. (Ptaszynski) The worst baseball team in South Korea, the Hanwha Eagles, has replaced its supporters with robots. (Harkin) | |||
25 | "No Such Thing As A Randy Rat in Polyester Pants"[26] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 5 September 2014 |
Rats that wear polyester trousers cannot get erections. (Ptaszynski) During World War I entertainments for the troops included organised pillow fights, wheelbarrow races and wrestling on the backs of mules. (Murray) The atmosphere of Venus is so hot that if you took a pizza out of a freezer there it would cook in three seconds. (Harkin) In Iceland there is a phone app that tells you if you are related to the person who you are (contemplating) having sex with. (Schreiber) | |||
26 | "No Such Thing As A Yeti Fact"[27] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski, Simon Rich and Schreiber | 13 September 2014 |
Koko the gorilla, who knows sign language, has owned and cared for three pet cats during her lifetime. (Rich) According to yeti experts it is easier to escape from a female yeti than a male yeti, because females have such long dangling breasts, so before they can chase a human they need to chuck them over their shoulders, otherwise they might trip over them. (Schreiber) The Kama Sutra suggests 64 arts to practice alongside sex including solving word puzzles and teaching birds how to talk. (Harkin) There are more than 15 trillion tonnes of water above the Earth at any given moment. (Murray) | |||
27 | "No Such Thing As An Egg and Cress Portsmouth"[28] | Murray, Ptaszynski, Schreiber, Helen Zaltzman | 19 September 2014 |
LOL originally meant "Little Old Lady". It was a medical definition. Others included "LOLINAD", meaning "Little Old Lady in No Apparent Distress", and "LOLFDGB", meaning "Little Old Lady Fall Down Go Boom" (Zaltzman). According to researchers at Glasgow Caledonian University listening to Billy Connolly can substantially increase your pain tolerance. (Schreiber) The first woman to cycle around the world, Annie "Londonderry" Cohen Kopchovsky learnt to ride only the day before she set off. (Ptaszynski) When California ground squirrels are attacked by rattlesnakes they increase their blood pressure so much that their tails give off more infrared radiation and makes them look bigger. (Murray) | |||
28 | "No Such Thing As A Man-Eating Clam"[29] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 26 September 2014 |
Over 100 people used to watch Louis XIV of France getting dressed every morning. (Murray) There is an original Picasso that no-one will ever see because it was eaten by his dog. (Harkin) During World War II the US Navy diving manual contained detailed instructions for what to do if you were eaten by a giant clam. (Schreiber) A "hundred" used to be 120. (Ptaszynski) | |||
29 | "No Such Thing As Terrestrial Sweetcorn"[30] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 3 October 2014 |
In 19th century America you could be committed to a mental asylum for reading a novel. (Ptaszynski) The Greenland shark is so slow it needs all of its food to be asleep in order to eat it. It can only swim at 1mph, so if the prey moves it will outrun the shark. (Schreiber) The head of the International Chess Federation, Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, believes chess was brought to Earth by aliens. (Harkin) The yakuza has its own website that has a theme tune designed to attract new members. (Murray) | |||
30 | "No Such Thing As A Song in the Sound of Music[fn 2]"[31] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 10 October 2014 |
The first BBC radio presenter with a northern accent, Wilfred Pickles, was given the job to make it more difficult for the Nazis to impersonate news readers. (Harkin) In China, if you want to empty a building of people, or indeed if you want to end anything, play the song "Going Home" by Kenny G. (Schreiber) The two leading paleontologists of the 19th century, Edward Drinker Cope and Othniel Charles Marsh, used to destroy their fossil sites after excavating them so that their rival couldn't find anything about the site. (Ptaszynski) In the Fulah language, a computer crash is a known as a "hookii", which means: "a cow falling over but not dying". (Murray) | |||
31 | "No Such Thing As A Snake in My Pie"[32] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 17 October 2014 |
In the 17th century there was a prophet called Dorothy Harling who would cure you of your sins by urinating on the offending body part. (Harkin) Despite the fact that homosexuality is illegal in South Sudan a woman can have a female husband and a child can have a female father. (Ptaszynski) Tommy Flowers, the designer of the Colossus computer, discovered that the way to prevent the valves from blowing up was not turning it off and on again. (Schreiber) Botanists in Kew Gardens checked a £1.29 bag of supermarket mushrooms and found three species of mushroom previously unknown to science. (Murray) | |||
32 | "No Such Thing As A Good Gift For Gordon Brown[fn 3]"[33] | Harkin, Ash Gardner, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 24 October 2014 |
In 1060 BC, the entire Egyptian city of Pi-Ramesses was moved 20 kilometres to the north because part of the River Nile dried up. (Gardner) In 1864 a friend of Charles Dickens had a flatpack Swiss chalet sent to his home as a Christmas present. (Ptaszynski) Neuroscientists can tell if you are a musician simply by looking at your brain. (Harkin) Jack L. Warner, head of Warner Bros., spotted that from the air his studios looked identical to a nearby aircraft factory, so on the roof he painted an arrow and the words "Lockheed: That Way". (Schreiber) | |||
33 | "No Such Thing As A Clairvoyant Chicken[fn 4]"[34] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 31 October 2014 |
Until the year 635 AD Halloween was celebrated on 12 May. (Murray) Witches used broomsticks to put hallucinogenic drugs up their bottoms. (Schreiber) The woman who played the voice of Regan MacNeil in The Exorcist only agreed to play the part on the condition that she had two priests in her sound booth at all times, could be constantly drinking whisky, chain-smoking cigarettes and eating raw eggs. (Ptaszynski) The secret of youth is drinking the blood of the young, if you happen to be a mouse. (Harkin) | |||
34 | "No Such Thing As A Giant German Sandcastle"[35] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 7 November 2014 |
Comets stink of rotten eggs, cat urine and bitter almonds. (Harkin) Ranulph Fiennes used to suffer from such bad vertigo that he used to have to get his wife to climb ladders to clear the gutters. (Murray) A Ryanair crew member hired today could not possibly be the same height as a crew member from the first Ryanair flight. Today crew members have to be at least 5'2", but when it started you had to be less than 5'2". (Ptaszynski) According to his website Steven Segal is the only private US citizen to have paid someone to destroy a nuclear device. (Schreiber) | |||
35 | "No Such Thing As A Good Sloth Onesie[fn 5]"[36] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 15 November 2014 |
Viking names included "desirous of beer", "squat-wiggle", "lust-hostage", "short penis", "able to fill a bay with fish by magic" and "the man without trousers". (Harkin) You Only Live Once is Katie Price's fourth autobiography. (Schreiber) William Morton, the father of anaesthesia, first experimented on himself but kept falling asleep before he could describe the results. (Ptaszynski) Chessington World of Adventures has banned animal-print onesies to stop the animals there getting confused. (Murray) | |||
36 | "No Such Thing As A Game of King's Footsie"[37] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 21 November 2014 |
If you got into an argument in 18th century Abyssinia you could resolve it by, "blaming everything on the camel". (Ptaszynski) In Ancient Greece they used to play with yo-yos. (Schreiber) Most honey bee hives in the USA live on flatbed trucks. (Murray) The Sacramento Police Department get at least one phone call a week from people stuck in the world's largest corn maze. (Harkin) | |||
37 | "No Such Thing As The Kevin Olympics"[38] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 28 November 2014 |
In 1874 there was a plan to transport dead bodies from all over Europe to Mount Vesuvius and throw them in. (Ptaszynski) In 2010 an abandoned waste-water treatment plant in Baltimore was found to be home to an estimated 107,000,000 spiders. (Harkin) According to Vatican City's official newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano, the greatest pop album of all time is Revolver by The Beatles. (Schreiber) For the first fifty years the Ancient Olympic Games the only event was the 200 metres (or to be precise, 192 metres). (Murray) | |||
38 | "No Such Thing As A Super Mario Love Hotel[fn 6]"[39] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski, Lieven Scheire and Schreiber | 6 December 2014 |
Ant nests can become infested by ants. (Scheire) In Cambodia a teenage girl's parents might build her a "love hut" where her parents encourage her to sleep with as many boys as she wants until she finds the one that she likes. (Ptaszynski) The longest canyon in the world is 50% longer than the Grand Canyon and it was not discovered until August 2013. It is buried under 1.9 miles of ice in Greenland. (Murray) In 2008 the University of Bath invented a 3D printer that could print a copy of itself. Within three minutes that copy had copied itself to make a third copy and today nobody knows how many of these printers exist in the world. (Harkin) | |||
39 | "No Such Thing As A Rocking Chair in Space[fn 7]"[40] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski, and Schreiber | 12 December 2014 |
The San Francisco Fire Department's ladders are made from wood. (Harkin) Astronauts do not snore. (Schreiber) In March 1876 it rained mutton-tasting meat in Kentucky. (Ptaszynski) The Victorians invented a coat which doubled-up as a boat. (Murray) | |||
40 | "No Such Thing As Captain Trousers"[41] | Anne Miller, Murray, Ptaszynski, and Schreiber | 19 December 2014 |
In 18th century France tooth-pullers were entertainers who would perform in front of live audiences. (Murray) In World War I the Romanian army issued an order that only officers above the rank of major had the right to wear eye shadow in battle. (Ptaszynski) The most borrowed children's author in British libraries, Daisy Meadows, doesn't exist. (Miller) It would cost $850 quadrillion to build the Death Star. (Schreiber) | |||
41 | "No Such Thing As Reginald the Red-Nosed Reindeer[fn 8]"[42] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski, and Schreiber | 24 December 2014 |
Before going on stage to read A Christmas Carol Charles Dickens had a warm-up routine of drinking a pint of champagne. (Schreiber) Crap Christmas jumpers date back to the Romans. (Harkin) Male turkeys blush when they see female turkeys. (Ptaszynski) The composer of the song "Jingle Bells", James Pierpont, also wrote a song called "We Conquer or Die". (Murray) | |||
Special 1 | "No Such Thing As Unbroadcastable Material[fn 9]"[43] | Alex Bell, Harkin, Anne Miller, Murray, Ptaszynski, and Schreiber | 31 December 2014 |
This is a special "Worst Of" episode, consisting of clips removed from the original podcasts. | |||
42 | "No Such Thing As A Bloober Reel"[44] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski, and Schreiber | 9 January 2015 |
Franz Kafka once convinced his entire family that Einstein's theory of relativity was going to cure his tuberculosis. (Ptaszynski) Dead geckos still stick to walls after they die. (Murray) The active ingredient in the first ever homeopathy treatment was the blood of Thomas Becket. (Harkin) In 2013 a group of people attempted to crowdfund London's first UFO museum. They needed $1,000,000 but after 30 days they only raised $370. (Schreiber) | |||
43 | "No Such Thing As A Human Cigarette"[45] | Alex Bell, Harkin, Murray and Ptaszynski | 16 January 2015 |
Cows have friends and they get sad when they are separated. (Bell) It is illegal to take a selfie with a tiger in New York City. (Harkin) Morgue refrigerators in Turkey are equipped with motion sensors, alarms and handles that open them from the inside in case anyone wakes up inside. (Ptaszynski) When he was a baby Henry VIII of England had two official cradle rockers who were paid £3 a year each to rock his cradle. (Murray) | |||
44 | "No Such Thing As A Vegan Fryup"[46] | Harkin, Anne Miller, Murray and Ptaszynski | 23 January 2015 |
Between 800–1349 the Colosseum was used as an apartment block. (Ptaszynski) You can be fined for swearing in Australia. In the last financial year people in Northern Territory were fined A$48,372 in total. (Harkin) When the first transatlantic telegraph cable was laid in 1858 the reception on it was so bad that it took 17 hours to send the first message across. (Murray) In 2014, to celebrate World Vegan Day, PETA asked the town of Fryup, North Yorkshire, to change its name to "Vegan Fryup" for a day. The locals refused. (Miller) | |||
45 | "No Such Thing As A Travelator in Ancient Rome"[47] | Harkin, Greg Jenner, Murray and Ptaszynski | 30 January 2015 |
In 1960s America one bus route that was only 35 miles long went through seven different time zones due to the way daylight saving time was adopted across the country. (Jenner) If a predator gets too close to a limpet then the limpet will lift up its shell and stamp on the predator's foot. (Murray) After landing on the Moon, Buzz Aldrin worked in a car dealership where he failed to sell a single car. (Ptaszynski) The Cathars get their name from being cathartic and pure, but during the Middle Ages some people thought they got their name from the belief that they liked to kiss a cat's arse. (Harkin) | |||
46 | "No Such Thing As An Apostle Called Scrotum"[48] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 6 February 2015 |
There have been three Top 50 songs in the British charts that have been sung exclusively in Latin: "Gaudete" by Steeleye Span; "Choral in Latin" from Evita; and "Pie Jesu" from Requiem, sung by Charlotte Church. (Murray) The way to recognise the Buddha is to look out for his webbed feet, his tongue that can reach his ears, and withdrawn genitalia. (Ptaszynski) The whoopee cushion was invented by the Roman Emperor with the birthname Bassianus. (Schreiber) The oldest known purse is decorated with dogs' teeth. (Harkin) | |||
47 | "No Such Thing As A Lonely Starbucks Customer"[49] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 14 February 2015 |
According to a 2011 YouGov survey 27% of Britons neither love or hate Marmite. (Harkin) The Knights of the Round Table included Lancelot, Gawain, Galahad and Gareth. (Schreiber) The Ministry of Defence owns 15 golf courses. (Murray) The rise in the use of female contraceptive pills is causing fish to become too effeminate. (Ptaszynski) | |||
48 | "No Such Thing As A Pokemon-Playing Goldfish"[50] | Victoria Coren Mitchell, Harkin, Miller, Murray, and Schreiber | 20 February 2015 |
Charles Hawtrey hoarded bedsteads, believing that they would help make this fortune. (Coren Mitchell) In 1937 you could visit Romford Dog Track and watch cheetahs racing. (Harkin) In 2010 the US Military built a supercomputer using 1,760 PlayStation 3's. (Miller) In 1552 a man in England managed to shoot himself to death using a bow and arrow. (Murray) | |||
49 | "No Such Thing As A Buff Panda[fn 10]"[51] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 25 February 2015 |
Until the mid-2000s the best method for finding out how many pandas there were alive was to sieve through their faeces. (Murray) Since 2007 the Wikipedian Bryan Henderson has made more than 50,000 edits, all of which are exactly the same: tracking down articles using the words "comprised of" and changing them to "consists of". (Schreiber) The world's largest saw is used to cut through mountains in Kazakhstan. (Harkin) In the early days of racewalking the competitors were allowed to jog as necessary to relieve cramp. (Ptaszynski) | |||
50 | "No Such Thing As Doing It Dinosaur-Style[fn 11]"[52] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 27 February 2015 |
The 2012 law prohibiting nudity in San Francisco was proposed by a politician named Scott Wiener. (Harkin) Charles Darwin's grandfather, Erasmus Darwin, got so large that he could not sit at his dinner table any more. Rather than exercising or dieting, he cut a semi-circle in his dining table so he could fit his stomach in. (Schreiber) Spotify's random function is not random. (Murray) The animal kingdom forgot how to have sex for 40 million years. (Ptaszynski) | |||
51 | "No Such Thing As Dodecahedral Shredded Wheat[fn 12]"[53] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 6 March 2015 |
The son of Henry Perky, the man who invented shredded wheat, was also an inventor. He invented round shredded wheat. (Ptaszynski) In the 1960s a Canadian psychologist visited cafes across the world counting how much couples touched each other. In Puerto Rico it was 180 times in an hour; in Paris it was 110; in London it was zero. (Murray) In a particular time and place in history, you could avoid castration by shouting the word "Soho". (Harkin) Matthieu Ricard, named the happiest man in the world, is unhappy that people call him the happiest man in the world. (Schreiber) | |||
52 | "No Such Thing As A Worthless Bucket of Urine[fn 13][fn 14]"[54] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 13 March 2015 |
The route for the Hong Kong ultramarathon is to run up and down the same stretch of road 25 times. (Murray) The metre is wrong. It is 0.16mm out. (Ptaszynski) St Andrews Aquarium currently has three meerkats called Churchill, Admiral and Sheilas' Wheels. They also had two other meerkats called Aviva and Direct Line, but these have since died. (Harkin) The only ancient Egyptian socks that we know of all belonged to Tutankhamun. Also, he wore sandals, so he may have worn socks in sandals. (Schreiber) | |||
53 | "No Such Thing As A 3000km Tall Statue of Liberty[fn 15]"[55] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 20 March 2015 |
Finnish budget meatballs have so little meat in them that they have had to be renamed "balls", or pyöryköitä in the Finnish language. (Murray) Lady Florence Dixie once had to apologise to Queen Victoria after her pet jaguar killed three of Victoria's pet deer. (Ptaszynski) The Statue of Liberty originally wore a headscarf. (Schreiber) A Polo mint takes 42.5 minutes to dissolve if you stick it up your nose. (Harkin) | |||
54 | "No Such Thing As Domesticated Furniture[fn 16]"[56] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 27 March 2015 |
When you have a tattoo lasered off you end up pooing it out. (Murray) The man who invented the airship, Alberto Santos-Dumont, used to hold dinner parties with 10ft high chairs so his guests could experience the joy of flight. (Ptaszynski) A new scientific study has concluded that there are too many scientific studies. (Schreiber) You should never pick up a desert tortoise. If you do it can urinate itself to death. (Harkin) | |||
55 | "No Such Thing As Samurai Nail Clippers[fn 17]"[57] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 3 April 2015 |
Firefighters use wetter water than most people. (Harkin) Plants have their own internet made of fungi. (Ptaszynski) In 1710 the boys of Winchester College rioted over insufficient beer rations. (Murray) The first man to discover the clitoris was Colombo. (Schreiber) | |||
56 | "No Such Thing As A Killer Tomato"[58] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 10 April 2015 |
For 200 years after tomatoes made it to England, they were grown almost entirely for ornamental reasons. (Ptaszynski) NASA is planning on giving the Moon a moon. (Schreiber) Basil Rathbone, one of the first men to play Sherlock Holmes on film, spent much of World War One dressed as a tree. (Murray) Abraham Lincoln used his stovepipe hat to keep important documents hidden. (Harkin) | |||
57 | "No Such Thing As A Hoverhorse"[59] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 17 April 2015 |
Monorails were originally horse-drawn. (Schreiber) The Great Smog of 1952 was so bad that blind people led sighted people home from train stations. (Murray) On 24 March 2015 the temperature in Antarctica was higher than that in Malta, Madrid and Marrakech. (Harkin) Jesse Bogdonoff, Tonga's official finance minister, was also the official court jester. (Ptaszynski) | |||
58 | "No Such Thing As Van Gogh the Elephant"[60] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 24 April 2015 |
Kaiser Wilhelm II once lost a valuable arms contract for Germany because he slapped Ferdinand I of Bulgaria on the bottom. (Ptaszynski) "Beware of Pickpocket" signs attract pickpockets. (Murray) No-one is quite sure how to pronounce Louis Armstrong's name. (Schreiber) The man who holds the Guinness World Record for the lowest voice can hit notes that are so low only elephants can hear them. (Harkin) | |||
59 | "No Such Thing As Old Mother Bastard[fn 18]"[61] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 1 May 2015 |
The first thing was a parliament. (Harkin) One of the largest majorities in a Brazilian local election was won by a rhino. (Ptaszynski) Finland's parliament sometimes makes decisions in their sauna. (Schreiber) In British electoral history 8 candidates have been awarded no votes at all in a general election. (Murray) | |||
60 | "No Such Thing As An Unenjoyable Bowel Movement"[62] | Harkin, John Lloyd, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 8 May 2015 |
The final McDonalds burger ever sold in Iceland can currently be watched decomposing on a webcam. (Harkin) In 1851 Prince Albert commissioned a ballroom in Balmoral Castle made entirely out of corrugated iron. (Lloyd) During the 19th century Saddlers Wells Theatre was routinely flooded to stage fake naval battles. (Ptaszynski) The practice of dog owners pretending that they have not seen their dogs defecating is technically called "strategic non-knowledge". (Murray) | |||
61 | "No Such Thing As Jesus's Magic Wand"[63] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 15 May 2015 |
Instead of being one of the founders of the USA, Benjamin Franklin almost stayed in Britain to found a swimming school on the River Thames. (Ptaszynski) Sumo wrestling referees carry a knife on them so in the event they make a bad decision during a match they can kill themselves. (Schreiber) The trailer for the longest movie ever made, Ambiancé, is 72 minutes long. (Harkin) In the Middle Ages lots of churches had statues of Jesus Christ which had moving arms so that Christ could be taken down from the cross and carried around the church. Other statues had the Virgin Mary with a working belly from which you could take a model of the infant Christ. (Murray) | |||
62 | "No Such Thing As The Ugly Panda"[64] | Harkin, Rufus Hound, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 22 May 2015 |
Twice in its history the United States has been run by a shepherd: Thomas Jefferson and Woodrow Wilson both kept sheep. (Hound) There is a village in rural Russia where every single person knows how to tightrope walk. (Harkin) In Britain pedestrians step to the right to avoid each other and in Japan they step to the left. No-one knows why. (Ptaszynski) Half of all California condors were raised by glove puppets. (Murray) | |||
63 | "No Such Thing As An Anti-German Sock[fn 19]"[65] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 29 May 2015 |
The first ever novel, The Tale of Genji, ended mid-sentence. (Ptaszynski) J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis both once went to a party dressed as polar bears. It was not a fancy dress party. (Harkin) Agatha Christie thought that Hercule Poirot was a, "detestable, bombastic, tiresome, egocentric, little creep". (Murray) Before inventing television John Logie Baird's invented a pair of socks to wear underneath your usual pair of socks. (Schreiber) | |||
64 | "No Such Thing As An Honest Saiga"[66] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 5 June 2015 |
Bananas emit antimatter. (Harkin) Slovenia's largest lake, Lake Cerknica, disappears every year. (Ptaszynski) Half the world's saigas have died in the previous month and no-one knows why. (Murray) Barbra Streisand had a shopping mall built for her sole use under her house. (Schreiber) | |||
65 | "No Such Thing As A Chickenosaurus"[67] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 12 June 2015 |
Cleaner fish can cheat their bosses, and their bosses can punish them. (Murray) Al Qaeda's job application form has a question asking who should be contacted in the event that the applicant becomes a martyr. (Schreiber) The single biggest expense for the computer game Lego Universe was to hire human moderators to make sure people were not making Lego penises. (Harkin) Jack Horner, the man who inspired the main character in Jurassic Park, is now building a chickenosaurus. (Ptaszynski) | |||
66 | "No Such Thing As A Robotic Margaret Atwood"[68] | Harkin, Anne Miller, Murray, and Schreiber | 19 June 2015 |
In the 1840s London buses has straps attached to the driver's arms that the passenger would yank if they wanted the bus to stop. (Harkin) Standing like Superman, with hands on hips, chest up and head tilted-up, can make you more successful. (Miller) Margaret Atwood's latest novel, Scribbler Moon, will not be released until 2114 as part of the Future Library project. (Schreiber) The Japanese are planning to install toilets in their lifts. (Murray) | |||
67 | "No Such Thing As The Hoo-Hah Monologues"[69] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 26 June 2015 |
Guantanamo Bay has a gift shop. (Schreiber) The Natural History Museum, London is turning moths gay to stop them from destroying the exhibits. (Ptaszynski) The word "marvellous" has fallen in use from 155 times per million twenty years ago, to only 2 times per million today. (Harkin) In preparation for the National Day of the People's Republic of China 100,000 pigeons have had anal security checks to make sure they are not carrying anything suspicious. (Murray) | |||
68 | "No Such Thing As A Friendly Face Fondle"[70] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 3 July 2015 |
Only 28% of people know when they have been flirted with. (Ptaszynski) Ancient Sumerian beer was as thick as porridge and was drunk through a straw. (Harkin) Baby turtles co-ordinate when they are going to hatch from within their eggshells. (Murray) Henrik Ibsen's last words were to his nurse. She said to him that she thought Ibsen was getting better, to which Ibsen replied: "On the contrary", and then he died. (Schreiber) | |||
69 | "No Such Thing As The Pamplona Guinea Pig Run"[71] | Alex Bell, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 10 July 2015 |
In Peru depictions of the Last Supper show Jesus Christ and the disciples eating a guinea pig. (Murray) The Citigroup Center skyscraper has a 400 tonne weight at the top of it to stop it from falling over. (Bell) Canadian crime writer Howard Engel lost the ability to read while also not losing the ability to write. (Ptaszynski) Apple Inc. co-founder Steve Wozniak met his wife via a Dial-A-Joke call. (Schreiber) | |||
70 | "No Such Thing As A Rat Multiborg"[72] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 17 July 2015 |
Babies practice saying their first words before saying them out loud. (Murray) The first pair of Nike trainers were made with a waffle iron. (Ptaszynski) Rats dream of places that they want to visit. (Schreiber) Humans used milk as paint for 40,000 years before anyone thought to drink it. (Harkin) | |||
71 | "No Such Thing As A Somersaulting Long Jumper[fn 20]"[73] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 24 July 2015 |
The world record for the horse long jump is shorter the record for the human long jump. (Schreiber) Every time Alfred Hitchcock had a cup of tea he always smashed the teacup afterwards. (Ptaszynski) The Romanian equivalent of comparing apples and oranges is to compare grandmothers and machine guns. (Murray) Replacement eyelids can be made from foreskins. (Harkin) | |||
72 | "No Such Thing As A Bacon Telescope"[74] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 31 July 2015 |
The first item to be sent by New York's pneumatic post system was an artificial peach. The second thing to be sent was an alive black cat. (Ptaszynski) Scientists have made a form of algae that tastes like bacon. (Harkin) Telescopes have a "new telescope smell" that can break them. (Murray) There is a museum in North Korea that has a scaled-down replica of the world's largest table. (Schreiber) | |||
73 | "No Such Thing As A Useless Condom"[75] | Harkin, Miller, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 7 August 2015 |
As part of the preparation for the D-Day landings the Allied Forces used condoms to collect soil and sand from the Normandy beaches. (Ptaszynski) Every second at least one star in the universe explodes. (Schreiber) Cannibals in ancient Mexico ate their human flesh with chilli sauce. (Harkin) Dogs are not allowed in Selwyn College, Cambridge, so the master's Basset Hound as been reclassified as a really large cat. (Miller) | |||
74 | "No Such Thing As A Computer in the Oval Office"[76] | Bell, Harkin, Murray, and Schreiber | 14 August 2015 |
According to the diary of the first chief of MI6, Mansfield Smith-Cumming, this is how the first day went: "Went to the office. Saw no-one, nor was there anything to do there." (Schreiber) There is a distillery in Kentucky that claims that playing Bruce Springsteen to the whiskey improves the ageing process. (Harkin) There is a statue of Nikola Tesla in Silicon Valley that radiates free wi-fi. (Bell) A third of people in Britain have almost written nothing by hand in the last six months. (Murray) | |||
75 | "No Such Thing As Diarrhea Drive[fn 21]"[77] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 21 August 2015 |
The Scrooge Effect states that if you make someone think about death, that person is more likely to be more charitable and get more satisfaction when making charitable donations. If you like grilled cheese you will have 32% more sex. In 1567 the man with the longest beard died when he tripped over his own beard while running away from a fire. In 2009 two French mayors declared the same street a one way street, but in different direction. Canadian $1 coins are called "loonies" and $2 coins are called "toonies". The Danish word for "fifty-eight" translates "eight and half-three twenties". Jelly babies were originally marketed under the name of "unwanted babies". A rhinoceros beetle strength capacity is the same as a human lifting nine male elephants over his head. In 1958 Nikita Khrushchev met Mao Zedong, and Mao suggested a meeting while swimming, knowing that Khrushchev could not swim. Aides then appeared with water wings for Khrushchev and the meeting took place with Mao swimming up-and-down and Khrushchev flailing around. The police department in Cambridge, Massachusetts requested that when the Harvard Bridge was refurbished in the 1980s that the graffiti on it was maintained by the people who created it because it became useful in identifying when acts of vandalism were committed on the bridge. F. Scott Fitzgerald bitched to Ernest Hemingway that his dick was too small, then he went to the bathroom, Hemingway looked at it and pronounced it fine. The name "Gary" is as of 2013 less popular in the UK than both the names "Thor" and "Loki". When the tooth of a mastodon was once found in North America it was identified by the tooth of a giant. According to chemistry, alcohol is a solution. The first ICBMs placed outside of the Soviet Union could never be used because the Soviets in charge of them drank the rocket fuel because it was made out of alcohol. Bucharest and Budapest are the fifth most mixed up places in the world. The wages in Chelsea and Fulham are so high that it is the only constituency in the UK where the average wage is higher than the wage of their MP. Apollo 13 nearly ended in disaster before it got to space because of a malfunction, but a second malfunction occurred which prevented the ship from being destroyed. If you wanted to recreated the entire Lego Movie with actual Lego you would need 15,080,330 pieces. When a dog enters a room it knows what has happened two hours before, because of its sense of smell. Baby koala bears cannot digest eucalyptus leaves when they are first born, so they have to get the bacteria from their mother's poo to digest eucalyptus. The milk used to make Ben & Jerry's ice cream comes from massaged cows. The motto of the Salvation Army is: "Blood and fire". Since 1945 all British tanks must come equipped with tea making supplies. Josef Stalin had some scientists attempt to create an ape-human hybrid because he thought it would be useful in Russian industry and could withstand more pain. In 1953 NASCAR driver Tim Flock raced for eight races with a rhesus monkey named Jocko Flocko as his co-driver. There is a consultant urologist at Musgrove Park Hospital in Taunton, Somerset, named Nicholas Burns-Cox. The only man to stick his head into a particle accelerator not only lived to complete his PhD but has also not aged since the accident. | |||
76 | "No Such Thing As Mould Juice[fn 22]"[78] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 28 August 2015 |
The first man to swim the English Channel, Captain Matthew Webb, later had a show where he floated in a tank for two hours. (Murray) The first item sold on eBay was a broken laser pointer. It was bought by a man who collects broken laser pointers. (Schreiber) When Alexander Fleming's neighbours foiled a burglary at his house, as a thank you gift Fleming gave them some mould from the first penicillin. (Ptaszynski) The earliest known ice cream recipes suggest flavouring with ambergris, which is whale poo. (Harkin) | |||
77 | "No Such Thing As Pee-Bay[fn 23]"[79] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 4 September 2015 |
Dog urine makes street lights collapse. (Harkin) After the button was invented it took over 1,000 years for someone to invent the buttonhole. (Schreiber) As a baby Saint Nicholas refused to drink his mother's breast milk on fast days. (Murray) When Ronald Reagan left office, he left a note on the White House lawn for the squirrels warning them to beware of George H. W. Bush's dogs. (Ptaszynski) | |||
78 | "No Such Thing As An Ugly Pair of Eyes[fn 24]"[80] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 11 September 2015 |
Las Vegas holds an award ceremony for people who make awards, presented by the Awards and Recognition Association. (Harkin) Napoleon Bonaparte loved roast chicken so much that his household chefs were constantly cooking some in case he decided he wanted any. (Murray) IMDb was originally just a list of actresses with beautiful eyes. (Schreiber) The word "fascinate" literally means: "the embodiment of divine phallus". (Ptaszynski) | |||
79 | "No Such Thing As A Sad High Five[fn 25]"[81] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 18 September 2015 |
The current French Scrabble Champion, Nigel Richards, does not speak a word of French. (Schreiber) The world's only venomous frogs headbutt their enemies to death. (Harkin) When the film All Quiet on the Western Front was released in Germany, Joseph Goebbels when to see it at the cinema and within 10 minutes he had released stink bombs, itching powder and white mice in order to make people flee from the cinema. (Ptaszynski) Defunct sports from the early 20th century include archery golf, boxing on horseback, and competitive flagpole sitting. (Murray) | |||
80 | "No Such Thing As A Mousetrap-Remote-Control[fn 26]"[82] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 25 September 2015 |
The first ever pencils were used to draw on sheep. (Murray) Drinking alcohol makes you more attractive. (Schreiber) The National Giant Vegetable Championships had to move venues in the mid 1980s as the pumpkins started to get too big to fit through the doors. (Harkin) The Beaded Lacewing insect incapacitates its prey by farting on it. (Ptaszynski) | |||
81 | "No Such Thing As A Jellyfish Jelly"[83] | Alex Bell, Harkin, Anne Miller and Ptaszynski | 2 October 2015 |
Ruby, a sheep genetically engineered to glow in the dark, was accidentally sold to an abattoir. (Miller) During the launch of BBC Two in 1964, a live kangaroo got stuck in a lift at BBC Television Centre. (Bell) Dr. Seuss once wrote a Warner Bros. film called Going Home, that was banned because it accidentally predicted the Manhattan Project. (Ptaszynski) The phrase: "Why is my poop green?" is Googled most commonly between 5am and 6am. (Harkin) | |||
82 | "No Such Thing As A Sentient Iceberg[fn 27]"[84] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 9 October 2015 |
In winter we should all wear our socks outside our shoes, because they are grip more on ice. (Schreiber) Ancient Jerusalem's lost property office just involved shouting about what you lost in the hope that somebody had found it. (Murray) Charles Blagden, the man who discovered why we sweat, found it out by getting into a sauna with a dog, a beef steak and an egg. (Ptaszynski) Stick insect sex can last for 79 days, and the insects are stuck together the whole time. (Harkin) | |||
83 | "No Such Thing As A Flying Sniffer Dog[fn 28]"[85] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 16 October 2015 |
The seventh time park ranger Roy Sullivan was struck by lightning coincided with the 22nd time he fought off a bear with a stick. (Schreiber) In 2015, America's "Hero Dog of the Year Award" was won by a cat. (Harkin) The earliest known penalty of illegal parking, dating back to Assyria in the 7th century BC, was to be impaled on a stake. (Ptaszynski) Female corn earworm moths go invisible after sex. (Murray) | |||
84 | "No Such Thing As A Donkumentary[fn 29]"[86] | Alex Bell, Karl Kruszelnicki, Murray, and Schreiber | 23 October 2015 |
Two people in Sydney every week get bitten by ticks and shortly afterwards become allergic to meat for the rest of their lives. (Kruszelnicki) The Millennium bug is going to hit in 2038. (Murray) Buckminster Fuller's complete diaries take over 18 metres of shelf space. (Bell) Australian scientists have recently named a new discovered species of fish: "blue bastard". (Schreiber) | |||
85 | "No Such Thing As Michaelangelo's Snowman[fn 30]"[87] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 30 October 2015 |
During the Miracle of 1511 the people of Brussels protested against the government by filling the city with dozens of pornographic snowmen. (Harkin) Harris hawks stand on each others shoulders to get a better view. (Ptaszynski) Pope Innocent VIII was given the nickname "The Honest" because he was the first pope to acknowledge that he had illegitimate children. (Murray) Spanish construction workers recently accidentally destroyed a 6,000-year-old neolithic tomb that looked like a picnic table and replaced it with a new and better-looking picnic table. (Schreiber) | |||
86 | "No Such Thing As Ghost Nipples"[88] | Harkin, Mark Mason, Murray and Schreiber | 6 November 2015 |
For the Coronation of Queen Elizabeth II people dressed up as television sets. (Murray) The world puddle jumping championships bans fizzy drinks in case they improve the participant's performance. (Harkin) The shuttlecocks used in professional badminton are made using real goose feathers which are always taken from the bird's left wing. (Mason) The Ancient Egyptians had a pornographic papyrus, known as the Turin Erotic Papyrus. (Schreiber) | |||
87 | "No Such Thing As The Pajama Police[fn 31]"[89] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 13 November 2015 |
The world's only Cornish pasty museum is in Mexico. (Ptaszynski) 20% of people wake up wearing fewer clothes than they went to bed with. (Harkin) There are people who mine for jeans. (Murray) Jesus Christ had a monobrow. (Schreiber) | |||
Special 2 | "The One Show Special[fn 32]"[90] | Matt Baker, John Bishop, Harkin, Alex Jones, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 19 November 2015 |
The total number of hours spent by people watching The One Show this year is the same as the total number of hours that have passed since humans left Africa. (Harkin) The largest object ever discovered is a hole: the supervoid. (Ptaszynski) In 2012 a kestrel was arrested in Turkey on suspicion of spying. (Schreiber) The phrase "van man" pre-dates the invention of the van. (Murray) | |||
88 | "No Such Thing As A Moon Sausage Bullet[fn 33]"[91] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 20 November 2015 |
Lord Byron's nickname for William Wordsworth was: "William Turdsworth". (Murray) If you grow a cos lettuce in a spaceship it tastes like rocket. (Harkin) Scientists have grown an ear using Vincent Van Gogh's DNA. (Schreiber) The larger Pacific striped octopus catches its prey by sneaking up behind it and tapping it on the shoulder. (Ptaszynski) | |||
89 | "No Such Thing As Utah Fried Chicken[fn 34]"[92] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 27 November 2015 |
Before trains had corridors guards had to climb along the outside of the carriage to check your ticket. (Murray) The names given by Ernest Shackleton to his dogs included Slippery, Slobbers, Satan, Painful, Swanker, Bomber and Bob. (Harkin) According to a recent theory, Stonehenge was built as a part of a team building exercise. (Schreiber) Utah has a 106 acre forest that is made out of one tree, Pando. (Ptaszynski) | |||
90 | "No Such Thing As The Brilliant Billion"[93] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 4 December 2015 |
The Great Wall of China is held together by sticky rice. (Harkin) The world's largest single-cell organism, Caulerpa taxifolia, can get up to 12 inches long. (Murray) If you are bitten by the boomslang snake you bleed from every orifice. (Ptaszynski) Albert Einstein has a social media team. (Schreiber) | |||
91 | "No Such Thing As Apocalypse 1988"[94] | Harkin, Anne Miller, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 11 December 2015 |
The Very Hungry Caterpillar was originally called A Week with Willi the Worm. (Harkin) During World War II the XX Committee, or "Double-Cross Committee" was in charge of turning German spies. (Miller) Houses in Bali are built in proportion to the owner's body. (Ptaszynski) According to Isaac Newton the world is going to end in 2060. (Schreiber) | |||
92 | "No Such Thing As A Frozen Chicken Haunting[fn 35]"[95] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 18 December 2015 |
There is only a 1 in 800,000 chance of nobody will cough during the recording of this podcast. (Harkin) The Colosseum has recently banned centurions. (Schreiber) From 1978 to 1991 tens of thousands of chicken heads were dropped from helicopters over Switzerland. (Ptaszynski) In 2015 a ten-year study concluded that punching glass is very dangerous. (Murray) | |||
93 | "No Such Thing As A Christmas Treenis[fn 36]"[96] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 25 December 2015 |
The oldest turkey in the UK is called Dinner. (Harkin) Cary Grant and Clark Gable used to meet up once a year at Christmas to exchange unwanted monogramed gifts they received. (Ptaszynski) When it gets really cold Christmas trees can turn into glass. (Murray) One of the contenders for this year's Christmas charts is a prog rock album by Pope Francis. (Schreiber) | |||
94 | "No Such Thing As Sexy Mucus Pajamas[fn 37]"[97] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 1 January 2016 |
There is a chemical called arsole. In the late 1950 and early 1960s, comics with gorillas on the front cover sold considerably more than comics without them. The 25th Amendment allows US vice-presidents to take over as president when the president becomes incapacitated. It has happened three times, and each time the president was having a colonoscopy. There is a scene in the movie Léon: The Professional where lots of police cars are parked outside a building. While this scene was being filmed a man who had just robbed a shot ran onto the movie set, thought it was the real police, and handed himself in. Gary Numan is three weeks older than Gary Oldman. The new organist of Leeds Cathedral is David Pipe. There was a ghost army in World War II. The Allies used rubber inflatable tanks and recorded the sound of troops to trick the Germans into thinking the enemy was there. Parrot fish wear protective pyjamas at night, which they eat in the morning. The parents of fringe-limbed treefrogs grow extra layers of skin to feed their tadpoles. The new tallest building in London is going to be named "Undershaft". In 1774, one newspaper estimated that out of the 872,564 married couples in England only nine entirely happy. At the Admiralty Office Lord Nelson has a small mahogany box to stand on because he was short and the admirals sat on a raised platform to make themselves higher before everyone who came before them to speak. When Prince Charles married Princess Diana the TV cables put in place during the wedding were run through small holes by ferrets. A ferret called Misty ran cables from the United States Space Command at the Y2K Centre. Her fee was a strawberry pop tart. When a new HQ of the London Underground was opened in 1929 the statue on the front of the building of a naked boy was so controversial and there was so much public outcry that the sculpture had to reduce the size of the statue's penis by 1.5 inches. Claire Danes and all of her movies were banned from the Philippines after she insulted the country in an interview. The Korean term for the grinding dance is: "bubibubi". Ottoman Emperor Abdul Hamid made it illegal to use the words "sibling", "star", "bedbug" and "nose". Once, in order to send paper money through the post, people used to tear the money into two pieces and use the halves separately. | |||
95 | "No Such Thing As A Millipede Embassy"[98] | Alex Bell, Harkin, Murray and Ptaszynski | 8 January 2016 |
Czech deer still avoid crossing the Iron Curtain. (Murray) If every car in Monaco decided to go for a drive at the same time, they would not fit on the roads. (Harkin) Centralia, Pennsylvania has been on fire since 1962. (Ptaszynski) The first recorded traffic casualty was a Roman pig that was run over by a chariot carrying an ornamental phallus. (Bell) | |||
96 | "No Such Thing As A Touch of Worms[fn 38]"[99] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 15 January 2016 |
Socrates had a spirit who spoke to him through the medium of sneezing. (Ptaszynski) People used to hang their refrigerators from the ceiling. (Murray) David Frost used to host live TV shows 8 nights a week, by travelling via Concorde. (Schreiber) The original chill pill was a pill you took when you had a chill. (Harkin) | |||
97 | "No Such Thing As Andrew Diplodocus Carnegie"[100] | Helen Arney, Harkin, Murray, and Schreiber | 22 January 2016 |
Tomorrow will be the longest day of your life, because days on Earth are getting longer. (Arney) In 1457 men with moustaches were banned from Dublin. (Harkin) Diplodocuses could break the sound barrier. (Schreiber) More and more scientists are just describing their finds as "astounding". (Murray) | |||
98 | "No Such Thing As Planet George[fn 39]"[101] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 29 January 2016 |
Even though we are not sure if it exists, the possible Planet Nine is the most planety planet of all the planets. (Schreiber) The first use of the word "snowmageddon" came in the same press release as for the apology for the first use of the word "snowmageddon". (Harkin) The week this podcast was recorded, the largest known prime number ever discovered was found. It would have been discovered in September 2015, but the computer which found it forgot to tell anybody. (Murray) In a press released for the new English language test for migrants, the British government misspelt the word "language". (Ptaszynski) | |||
99 | "No Such Thing As Bread Civilians[fn 40]"[102] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 5 February 2016 |
A New Zealand firm has developed an irrationally angry robot to train telesales staff. (Murray) A fifth of the United States of America's meals are eaten in cars. (Ptaszynski) The most dangerous job in Britain is that of a hairdresser. (Harkin) Elvis Presley once started a riot at the end of his show by saying to the crowd: "Girls, I'll see you all backstage." (Schreiber) | |||
100 | "No Such Thing As A Zillion and One"[103] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski, Schreiber and Corey Taylor | 12 February 2016 |
A million seconds is 11.5 days. A billion seconds is 32 years. (Taylor) Star Trek was almost not commissioned because the pilot was considered too erotic. (Ptaszynski) Lausanne, Switzerland, has banned silent discos for being too loud. (Harkin) The giant squid's brain is wrapped around its throat, so if it eats anything too large it risks brain injury. (Murray) | |||
101 | "No Such Thing As A Giant Robot Michael Jackson[fn 41]"[104] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 19 February 2016 |
In 2005, there were plans to make a 50-foot tall robot Michael Jackson that would roam around the Nevada Desert. (Harkin) In the 16th century people disliked hedgehogs because it was believed they sucked cows udders. (Murray) Herbert Spencer had an "angry suit" specially made which he only wore when he was feeling irritable. (Ptaszynski) In order for Spider-Man to climb buildings, he would need Size 89 feet. (Schreiber) | |||
102 | "No Such Thing As A Water Mortar[fn 42]"[105] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 26 February 2016 |
The first water balloons were made out of socks. (Harkin) You cannot write properly in French on French computer keyboards. (Schreiber) Archers at the Battle of Agincourt had three arrows in the air at any given moment. (Murray) Right-handed marmosets are braver than left-handed marmosets. (Ptaszynski) | |||
103 | "No Such Thing As A Boa Constructor[fn 43]"[106] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 4 March 2016 |
Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky used to hold his head while conducting, because he was afraid it would fall off. (Schreiber) Asthmatic otters can be taught to use inhalers. (Harkin) Your appendix can be turned into a sphincter. (Ptaszynski) The founder of Crufts designed special train carriages for celebrity dogs. (Murray) | |||
104 | "No Such Thing As A Herd of Koalas[fn 44]"[107] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 11 March 2016 |
When something thought to be a meteorite actually turns out to be an ordinary rock, it is called a "meteorwrong". (Schreiber) Brown falcons commit arson. (Murray) In 1461, the mayor of Jaén, Spain, donated 10,000 eggs to his citizens so that they could have a huge food fight. (Ptaszynski) In 1951, Australia's football team played against England and lost 17–0. Their goalkeeper was called Norman Conquest. (Harkin) | |||
105 | "No Such Thing As Pancakes for Perverts[fn 45]"[108] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 18 March 2016 |
Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves is not nearly grumpy enough, according to researchers from Duke University. (Harkin) The Ancient Romans had party bags. (Murray) Ernest Hemingway once stole a urinal from a bar, saying that he pissed away so much of his money into it that he owned it. (Schreiber) The official medical diagnosis code for being struck by a chicken is different to the official medical diagnosis code for being pecked by a chicken. (Ptaszynski) | |||
106 | "No Such Thing As A Six-Tier Japanese Human Pyramid[fn 46]"[109] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 25 March 2016 |
The frog whose Latin name means "blue frog" is actually green. (Schreiber) You can surf on mushrooms. (Ptaszynski) If you are allergic to cats, you are also allergic to lions. (Murray) It is illegal in Japan to make a human pyramid higher than five tiers. (Harkin) | |||
107 | "No Such Thing As Gorillas on the Beach[fn 47]"[110] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 1 April 2016 |
In Utah, it is illegal to wear a hat in your driving licence photo, but you can have a photo of you wearing a colander on your head, for religious reasons. (Schreiber) There was a Victorian job that consisted solely of pushing people into the sea, known as a "dipper". (Murray) Desperate Dan stopped eating cow pies because of mad cow disease. (Ptaszynski) The oldest sperm is worm sperm. (Harkin) | |||
108 | "No Such Thing As Samurai Olaf[fn 48]"[111] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 8 April 2016 |
For just a penny, you can rent a bee for a month. (Murray) Iceland imports ice. (Schreiber) The most dangerous invasive species in Britain is a poo-eating mussel from Transylvania. (Harkin) Until about 4,000 years ago, humans did not notice the colour blue. (Ptaszynski) | |||
109 | "No Such Thing As A Speared Shrimp"[112] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 15 April 2016 |
In 1921, the News of the World gave away a free tea tray to any mother on the birth of their tenth child. (Harkin) Belgian fishermen go fishing on horseback. (Murray) 68% of mountains don't have pointy peaks. (Schreiber) The oldest "Your mum" joke appears on a 3,500-year-old Babylonian tablet. (Ptaszynski) | |||
110 | "No Such Thing As A Dull Post Box"[113] | Harkin, Murray, Sara Pascoe, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 22 April 2016 |
In the 1920s scientists concluded that menstruating women wilted flowers. (Pascoe) One proposed solution to plane hijackings in the 1970s was to build a pretend Havana airport in South Florida. (Murray) In 2016 an organisation will finish a 40-year-long study of Britain's post boxes, at which point it will immediately start again. (Ptaszynski) In the Middle Ages, people slept with cow dung at the foot of their beds to keep bugs away. (Harkin) | |||
111 | "No Such Thing As A Snappedy Chat[fn 49]"[114] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 29 April 2016 |
The week this episode was recorded, Elizabeth II will celebrate her 669th birthday. (Harkin) Brazilian Vice President of Brazil, Michel Temer, accidentally released his presidential acceptance speech by sending it to the wrong WhatsApp group. (Ptaszynski) Marburg, Germany is fighting global terror by banning number plates starting with the letters IS. (Murray) The North Pole is on a head-on collision course with Greenwich, London. (Schreiber) | |||
112 | "No Such Thing As A Lego Aircraft Carrier[fn 50]"[115] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 6 May 2016 |
Antarctica exports used toilet paper. (Murray) Planes are launched off aircraft carriers via catapult. (Ptaszynski) Apple used to give out an annual award to the employee who best stood up to Steve Jobs. (Schreiber) There are Japanese rock bands called Abingdon Boys School, Mass of the Fermenting Dregs and Seagull Screaming Kiss Her Kiss Her. (Harkin) | |||
113 | "No Such Thing As A Flycycle"[116] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 13 May 2016 |
When you are 30 metres underwater your lungs are only a quarter of their normal size. (Murray) Online shopping was predicted by in 1857. (Ptaszynski) The word "pants" comes from the Greek word for "all compassionate". (Harkin) All new emojis are approved by one 63-year-old man, named Mark Davis. (Schreiber) | |||
114 | "No Such Thing As A Tantrump[fn 51]"[117] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 20 May 2016 |
The first thing that Ted Cruz did after dropping out of the Republican race was elbowing his wife in the face. (Ptaszynski) Scientists have discovered that we still haven't discovered 99.999% of life on Earth. (Schreiber) As well as winning the Premier League title, the owners of Leicester City F.C. also won the World Elephant Polo Championships. (Harkin) Britain's first ever robot was designed to replace the Duke of York. (Murray) | |||
115 | "No Such Thing As A Hummingbird Pilot"[118] | Harkin, Anne Miller, Murray, Ptaszynski | 26 May 2016 |
The alarm clock on the Mir Space Station made the same noise as the emergency alarm. (Miller) The Bosnian national anthem is almost exactly identical in melody to of theme from National Lampoon's Animal House. (Harkin) Crows can bear a grudge for nine years and over two generations. (Murray) In 1959, the man who set the record time for swimming the Panama Canal was declared an honorary ship by the Panama Canal Authority. (Ptaszynski) | |||
116 | "No Such Thing As Notting Mountain"[119] | Alex Bell, Harkin, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 2 June 2016 |
The first performance-enhancing drug to be used in baseball was pulverised guinea pig testicles. (Ptaszynski) There is a power station buried inside a Welsh mountain that is only turned on during TV advert breaks. (Bell) 85 million years before butterflies existed, there was another animal that looked and acted exactly the same as butterflies. (Harkin) The Longquan Buddhist Temple in China has a monk called Worthy Stupid Robot Monk. (Schreiber) | |||
117 | "No Such Thing As Dr No Teeth"[120] | Harkin, Tim Minchin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 9 June 2016 |
Bulgaria has an agency that shoots rockets to kill hail. (Minchin) We judge music more on how it looks than how it sounds. (Ptaszynski) The BFG's dream powder also helps against constipation. (Harkin) Britain has only one performing circus raccoon. (Murray) | |||
118 | "No Such Thing As Dinner on a Spider"[121] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 16 June 2016 |
The fear of lifts can be cured by starving the subject and forcing them to eat all of their meals in lifts. (Harkin) The Russian Space Agency light their rockets using giant wooden matchsticks. (Schreiber) The film Who Framed Roger Rabbit is based on a true story. (Murray) The first ever wristwatch doubled-up as a thermometer. (Ptaszynski) | |||
119 | "No Such Thing As 4D Surgery"[122] | Stevyn Colgan, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 24 June 2016 |
Heart surgeons now perform surgery while wearing 3D glasses. (Schreiber) One day we may all be drinking pigeon milk. (Colgan) Books used to be stacked with the spines facing inwards. (Ptaszynski) In May 2016, an internal memo from the Egyptian Government on how to crush the press was accidentally sent out to the press. (Murray) | |||
120 | "No Such Thing As HMS Kevin[fn 52]"[123] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 1 July 2016 |
The way to defeat the Royal Navy's most advanced destroyer is to put it in warm water. (Schreiber) In 1998, Singapore held a beauty contest where 60% of the judging marks were awarded for how good a contestants website was. (Harkin) There is a network of fully furnished fake apartments in the UK, whose sole is to get burgled. (Ptaszynski) The world's biggest skywriting firm recently turned down a request to draw the largest ever penis in the sky. (Murray) | |||
121 | "No Such Thing As The Sword in the Carbon Fibre"[124] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 8 July 2016 |
The reason Merlin isn't called "Merdin" is to avoid confusion with a 12th century word for faeces. (Ptaszynski) Mate tea leafs sometimes flow upstream from the cup to the teapot. (Harkin) Butchers in Ancient Egypt wore high heels. (Schreiber) There is a fish called the Amazonian wood-eating catfish, but it is unable to digest wood. (Murray) | |||
122 | "No Such Thing As A Sticky Shell Spoon"[125] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 15 July 2016 |
Farmers in Botswana have started painting eyes on their cows bottoms to stop lions from attacking them. (Murray) James Harkin's top speed running in armour is the same as the top speed of a snowflake falling to Earth. (Harkin) Archeologists have started throwing finds into skips because there is now too much history for them to store. (Schreiber) Restaurants in 1950s Vietnam used to put holes in their soup spoons to stop people stealing them. (Ptaszynski) | |||
123 | "No Such Thing As A Molten Lava Football Pitch"[126] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 22 July 2016 |
A group of scientists are currently making their own lava. (Murray) The word "Timbuktu" means "woman with a sticking-out belly button". (Harkin) Lovers hearts beat in sync. (Ptaszynski) This year Hugh Hefner sold the Playboy Mansion. It comes with 30 rooms, a pool, a tennis court, a zoo licence and Hugh Hefner. (Schreiber) | |||
124 | "No Such Thing As A Screaming Scream"[127] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 29 July 2016 |
The first trampolines were made of walrus skin. (Ptaszynski) One proposed solution to the problem of storing nuclear waste for thousands of years is putting up warning signs with Edvard Munch's The Scream on them. (Murray) Karl Marx used to do London pub crawls. (Schreiber) There is a glowworm in New Zealand that catches its pray by pretending to be a star. (Harkin) | |||
125 | "No Such Thing As An Upside-Down Grand Prix"[128] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 5 August 2016 |
18th century hairstyles included "The Spaniel's Ears", "Mad Dog" and "The Drowned Chicken". (Murray) The 1959 Formula One championship was won on foot. (Schreiber) The earliest known mention of the balalaika is for someone being arrested for playing one. (Harkin) Lemurs and lorises like their liquor as strong as possible. (Ptaszynski) | |||
126 | "No Such Thing As A Boy Named Blclintn"[129] | Harkin, Anne Miller, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 12 August 2016 |
The Olympics used to have a race which was just for old ladies. (Schreiber) There was a Victorian comic song called "Tony Blair". (Miller) The first president of the UK's Women's Institute used a frying pan as a whip, wore an entire stuffed owl on her head, and officially named the city of Canberra. (Ptaszynski) You can make yourself more attractive to members of the opposite sex by giving them a magnet. (Harkin) | |||
127 | "No Such Thing As 'Carry On Colliding'"[130] | Alex Bell, Harkin, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 19 August 2016 |
This episode of No Such Thing as a Fish is going to the Moon. (Bell) Geologists have made an earthquake by dropping something heavy from somewhere high. (Ptaszynski) Until 1970 you could still buy men-only flights from United Airlines. (Harkin) The discovery of the Higgs boson was announced in Comic Sans. (Schreiber) | |||
128 | "No Such Thing As A Million Dollar Bill"[131] | Alex Bell, Harkin, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 26 August 2016 |
The controls in the world's first combat submarine, the Turtle, were lit up with glowing mushrooms. (Bell) While he was president, Woodrow Wilson played more than 1,200 rounds of golf. (Harkin) When Percy Shelley and Lord Byron went on a writer's retreat to Lake Geneva in 1816, the hotel opposite them hired out telescopes to their guests so that they could spy on them. (Schreiber) Famous historical games of Go include the blood-vomiting game, the ear-reddening game, the famous killing game and the atomic bomb go game. (Ptaszynski) | |||
129 | "No Such Thing As Jack The Stripper"[132] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 2 September 2016 |
Neanderthals wore capes. (Harkin) When the first ballpoint pen was launched in the US, riot police had to be deployed to restrain the crowds. (Ptaszynski) Not only was Lady Chatterley's Lover banned from Australia, but a book about the band was also banned. (Schreiber) Henry VIII contributed to NASA's space suit design. (Murray) | |||
130 | "No Such Thing As Train Jam"[133] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 9 September 2016 |
On 13 July 1930, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle headlined a show at the Royal Albert Hall, despite having died six days before. (Schreiber) Dutch trains are fitted with lasers to fire at leaves on the line. (Ptaszynski) To avoid catching malaria you should carry a live chicken with you at all times. (Murray) All of the sandals worn by the Puebloan peoples of New Mexico had enough space for six toes. (Harkin) | |||
131 | "No Such Thing As Walking the Life Jacket"[134] | Alex Bell, Harkin, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 16 September 2016 |
When she was prime minister, Margaret Thatcher ordered that all government documents should have slightly different word spacing, so if a letter was leaked to the press they would know who it came from. (Harkin) Duct tape should not be used on ducts. (Bell) Oxford University's first ever professor of chemistry, Robert Plot, believed that fossils were actually frozen urine. (Schreiber) Leonardo da Vinci made sculptures out of marzipan and got angry when people ate them. (Ptaszynski) | |||
132 | "No Such Thing As A Creepy Weather Forecaster"[135] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 23 September 2016 |
The least creepy job in the world is weather forecaster. (Harkin) Self-driving cars are playing Grand Theft Auto in order to learn how to drive better. (Schreiber) Kookaburras are born with a hook in their upper beak which is specifically for murdering their siblings. (Murray) The first ever mention of paper recommended it as a cure for frizzy hair. (Ptaszynski) | |||
133 | "No Such Thing As Paranoid Ants[fn 53]"[136] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 30 September 2016 |
The first 2016 US presidential debate was best watched with the sound turned off. (Harkin) A frog has vomited up a new species of ant. (Ptaszynski) A group of Saxon soldiers is marching 300 miles towards Hastings, to commemorate the Battle of Stamford Bridge. (Murray) Scientists have concluded that objects look smaller when viewed from between the legs. (Schreiber) | |||
134 | "No Such Thing As Sauce For The King Of Sweden[fn 54]"[137] | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 7 October 2016 |
One of the stalls at the 2016 Conservative Party conference is a grouse shooting simulator. (Ptaszynski) Comets sound like a cross between a cat and a dolphin. (Murray) Nobel Prize winners always immediately return their award so they don't lose it in the subsequent party. (Harkin) Two recently recovered stolen Van Gogh paintings would by you enough cocaine that you could snort a continuous line from Greenwich to Moscow. (Schreiber) | |||
135 | "No Such Thing As Queen of Clean, the Sausage Machine"[138] | Alex Bell, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 14 October 2016 |
Scientists have developed barcodes for zebras. (Murray) Agatha Christie was once turned away from a party held in her honour. (Bell) Different species of dolphin babysit each other's children. (Ptaszynski) Jackie Stallone is a bum-reader. (Schreiber) | |||
136 | "No Such Thing As A Wolf Diving For Clams"[139] | Piers Fletcher, Murray, Justin Pollard and Ptaszynski | 21 October 2016 |
The first person ever recorded buying a pornographic book in England was Samuel Pepys. (Pollard) If 50 people swam continuously for 15 months in an Olympic-size swimming pool, the water would boil. (Fletcher) In Wales, the size of garden used to be determined by how far you could throw an axe. (Ptaszynski) Some caterpillars find new friends by drumming on their anuses. (Murray) | |||
137 | "No Such Thing As Churchill's Secret Parrot[fn 55]"[140] | Harkin, Anne Miller, Murray, and Ptaszynski | 28 October 2016 |
Four-year-old mice are less common than 100-year-old humans. (Harkin) The detective agency that hunted Butch Cassidy also worked for Coca-Cola. (Ptaszynski) You cannot get to the highest point of Mauritania, Kediet ej Jill, with a compass. (Murray) In 2015, a plane had to make an emergency landing after the smoke alarm was triggered by 14 sheep. (Miller) | |||
138 | "No Such Thing As Fluff Island"[141] | Alex Bell, Ed Brooke-Hitching, Murray, and Ptaszynski | 4 November 2016 |
In 1875, the British navy erased 123 islands from their charts because they didn't exist. (Brooke-Hitching) The White House only got the ability to print on double-sided paper in 2016. (Murray) World War II Morse code operators could recognise each other's accents over the line. (Bell) Braver snails have thicker shells. (Ptaszynski) | |||
139 | "No Such Thing As A Lobster Nappy[fn 56]"[142] | Harkin, Murray, Schreiber and Ptaszynski | 12 November 2016 |
Smooth fan lobsters travel round the sea inside jellyfish, eating their rides as they go. (Harkin) In 1892, France built a telescope that was so long it couldn't actually be pointed at the sky. (Murray) The first gentlemen's club in America was formed for the purpose of eating turtle soup. (Ptaszynski) When Evel Knievel starred in the 1977 film Viva Knievel! he used a stunt double. (Schreiber) | |||
140 | "No Such Thing As As Books for Pirate-Children"[143] | Harkin, Murray, Schreiber and Ptaszynski | 18 November 2016 |
A pub in London has just renamed itself "The Bill Murray". However, because they couldn't get his permission, they had to name it after William Murray, whipping boy to Charles I of England instead. (Schreiber) It is impossible to paint a picture with the world's blackest black and the world's pinkest pink. (Harkin) At least 30% of the cocaine in America arrives by submarine. (Ptaszynski) In the Greek Odysseus myth, he escapes from the Cyclops by hiding under one of the Cyclops's sheep. In the Apache version of the same myth, he escapes by hiding in the anus of a buffalo. (Murray) | |||
141 | "No Such Thing As As Ancient Roman Pictionary"[144] | Harkin, Murray, Schreiber and Ptaszynski | 25 November 2016 |
The word "wow" has been popular in Scotland for 400 years before it caught on in the rest of the English speaking world. (Harkin) At least 61 species live in elephant footprints. (Ptaszynski) The original edition of Wisden Cricketers' Almanack was 112 pages long, and because the author wasn't sure what to put in it, was padded it out with the accounts of the trial of Charles I. (Schreiber) Fossilised poo is worth more of it has what one collector refers has called: "The classic poo look." (Murray) | |||
142 | "No Such Thing As As Edward Bin Bag Hands"[145] | Harkin, Murray, Schreiber and Ptaszynski | 2 December 2016 |
The Oval Office is a giant weighing scale. (Schreiber) Because male bumblebees relay on sight to fine females, they sometimes find themselves chasing after aeroplanes. (Harkin) Running a leaf blower for 30 minutes creates more emissions than driving a pick-up truck 3,800 miles. (Murray) Early humans had spiky penises. (Ptaszynski) |
World Cup of Facts: International Factball
During the 2014 FIFA World Cup, the podcast did a spin-off series sponsored by the VisitEngland tourism campaign. In it, the Elves played a "Factball" contest, with facts representing each country taking part (except England) that have nothing to do with football. The country with the most quite interesting fact won the match. The winning countries are in bold.[146]
# | Title | Presenters | Original airdate |
---|---|---|---|
1 | "Brazil v Croatia" | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 12 June 2014 |
2 | "Spain v The Netherlands" | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 13 June 2014 |
3 | "Uruguay v Costa Rica" | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 14 June 2014 |
4 | "France v Honduras" | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 15 June 2014 |
5 | "Germany v Portugal" | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 16 June 2014 |
6 | "Belgium v Algeria" | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 17 June 2014 |
7 | "Cameroon v Chile" | Jack Burke, Harkin, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 18 June 2014 |
8 | "Colombia v Ivory Coast" | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 19 June 2014 |
9 | "Italy v Switzerland" | Harkin, Anne Miller, Murray and Ptaszynski | 20 June 2014 |
10 | "Nigeria v Bosnia-Herzegovina" | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 21 June 2014 |
11 | "United States v Russia[fn 57]" | Alex Edelman, Harkin, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 21 June 2014 |
12 | "Australia v Mexico[fn 58]" | Alex Bell, Harkin, Molly Oldfield and Schreiber | 23 June 2014 |
13 | "Greece v Japan" | Harkin, John Mitchinson, Molly Oldfield and Ptaszynski | 24 June 2014 |
14 | "Iran v Argentina v Ecuador" | Harkin, Ptaszynski, Schreiber and Freddy Soames | 25 June 2014 |
15 | "South Korea v Ghana" | Alex Bell, Harkin, Ptaszynski, Schreiber | 26 June 2014 |
Vinyl recording
This episode was released only as a vinyl record, as part of The Complete First Year of No Such Thing As A Fish.
# | Title | Presenters | Original airdate |
---|---|---|---|
N/A | "No Such Thing as John Johnson" | Harkin, Murray, Ptaszynski and Schreiber | 20 November 2015 |
Swiss cheese is losing its holes. (Ptaszynski) There is a ski shop in the middle of the Sahara desert. (Murray) The world's only firework-boxing match took place in London in 1937. (Harkin) You have a cell in your brain specifically dedicated to Jennifer Aniston. (Schreiber) |
Footnotes
- ↑ This episode was a tie-in to the final of the 2014 FIFA World Cup final, and was thus devoted entirely to football.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience in the Aces and Eights Bar, Tufnell Park, London.
- ↑ This episode featured tracks to Emperor Yes's album An Island Called Earth, including the entire song "Monkey King".
- ↑ Halloween special
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Chortle Comedy Book Festival in Camden Town, North London. All the facts presented come from the book 1,411 QI Facts to Knock You Sideways.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Atomium, Brussels, Belgium.
- ↑ A fact about a Japanese fishing boat being destroyed by a cow falling from the sky has since been edited out of the original podcast after it was discovered to be wrong.
- ↑ Christmas special recorded in front of a live audience in the Aces and Eights Bar, Tufnell Park, London.
- ↑ New Year special
- ↑ Special release in honour of the podcast being nominated for a Chortle Award.
- ↑ Live recording from the Soho Theatre, Soho, London.
- ↑ Live recording from the Soho Theatre, Soho, London.
- ↑ Live recording from the Soho Theatre, Soho, London.
- ↑ One year anniversary special.
- ↑ Live recording from the Soho Theatre, Soho, London.
- ↑ Live recording from the Soho Theatre, Soho, London.
- ↑ Live recording from the Soho Theatre, Soho, London.
- ↑ UK General Election special
- ↑ Recorded live from the Hay Literary Festival. All the facts cover literature, except the last one which is about television, "the enemy of literature".
- ↑ Recorded live from the Latitude Festival.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience in the Aces and Eights Bar, Tufnell Park, London. In this episode, it was the four favourite facts from the audience rather than the Elves.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, London.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at The Lowry, Salford.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in the Waldorf-Astoria, Central London.
- ↑ This episode was recorded at the Brighton Comedy Festival.
- ↑ This episode was recorded at the North Wall Arts Centre in Oxford.
- ↑ This episode was recorded at BBC Broadcasting House, London, during a recording of The One Show. The facts discussed on the podcast were connected to the topics discussed on that night's episode of The One Show.
- ↑ This episode was recorded at the North Wall Arts Centre in Oxford.
- ↑ This episode was recorded at The Junction in Cambridge.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, London.
- ↑ Christmas special.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, London. In this episode, it was the four favourite facts from the audience rather than the Elves.
- ↑ Winter special.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, London.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Birmingham mac theatre.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Birmingham mac theatre.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Gulbenkian Theatre, Canterbury.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Leeds City Varieties.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Leicester Comedy Festival.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience in Newport.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience in Bristol.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience in Oran Mor, Glasgow.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience in Oran Mor, Glasgow.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, London.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience in Edinburgh.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, London. The episode is also a pilot for No Such Thing as the News.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience in the Udderbelly in South Bank, London.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, London.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, London. The episode is also dummy-run for No Such Thing as the News.
- ↑ All the facts presented come from the book 1,342 QI Facts to Leave You Flabbergasted.
- ↑ This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the London Podcast Festival.
- ↑ This match was declared a draw, so both teams went into the next round.
- ↑ Most of the panel voted for Mexico, but Australian Schreiber, who hosted this episode, mockingly declared that Australia was the winner instead.
References
- General
- "No Such Thing as a Fish". QI. Retrieved 24 May 2014.
- "No Such Thing as a Fish". Soundcloud. Retrieved 5 November 2014.
- Specific
- ↑ "QI Podcast". QI. 2016. Retrieved 30 July 2016.
- ↑ "Episode 1". QI. 8 March 2014. Retrieved 24 May 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Death By Acne". QI. 14 March 2014. Retrieved 24 May 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As The Middle Ages". QI. 21 March 2014. Retrieved 24 May 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As The Mountains of Kong". QI. 28 March 2014. Retrieved 24 May 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Kiss". QI. 4 April 2014. Retrieved 24 May 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As One Direction in North Korea". QI. 11 April 2014. Retrieved 24 May 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As The Loch Ness Monster". QI. 18 April 2014. Retrieved 24 May 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Swear Word on the Moon". QI. 25 April 2014. Retrieved 24 May 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Word For "Silent Fart"". QI. 2 May 2014. Retrieved 24 May 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Soggy Monk". QI. 9 May 2014. Retrieved 24 May 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Doorknob in Vancouver". QI. 16 May 2014. Retrieved 24 May 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Doorknob in Vancouver". QI. 23 May 2014. Retrieved 24 May 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Funny Nazi". QI. 30 May 2014. Retrieved 30 May 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Dirty Pair of Jeans". QI. 7 June 2014. Retrieved 7 June 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Bulge in Ken's Groin". QI. 28 June 2014. Retrieved 28 June 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Ghost in Poland". QI. 5 July 2014. Retrieved 5 July 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Bassoon in a Football Stadium". QI. 11 July 2014. Retrieved 11 July 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Kilt on the Battlefield". QI. 18 July 2014. Retrieved 19 July 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Unicorn Stew". QI. 25 July 2014. Retrieved 26 July 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Dangerous Daffodil". QI. 1 August 2014. Retrieved 2 August 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Testicle-Retracting Sumo Wrestler". QI. 8 August 2014. Retrieved 8 August 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Magic Camel Filter". QI. 15 August 2014. Retrieved 16 August 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Yawning Psychopath". QI. 22 August 2014. Retrieved 25 August 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Malicious Robot". QI. 29 August 2014. Retrieved 31 August 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Randy Rat in Polyester Pants". QI. 5 September 2014. Retrieved 6 September 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Yeti Fact". QI. 13 September 2014. Retrieved 13 September 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As An Egg and Cress Portsmouth". QI. 19 September 2014. Retrieved 19 September 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Man-Eating Clam". QI. 26 September 2014. Retrieved 26 September 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Terrestrial Sweetcorn". QI. 3 October 2014. Retrieved 4 October 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Song in the Sound of Music". QI. 10 October 2014. Retrieved 11 October 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Snake in My Pie". QI. 17 October 2014. Retrieved 23 October 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Good Gift For Gordon Brown". QI. 24 October 2014. Retrieved 25 October 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Clairvoyant Chicken". QI. 31 October 2014. Retrieved 1 November 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Giant German Sandcastle". QI. 7 November 2014. Retrieved 12 November 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Good Sloth Onesie". QI. 15 November 2014. Retrieved 15 November 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Game of King's Footsie". QI. 21 November 2014. Retrieved 23 November 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As The Kevin Olympics". QI. 28 November 2014. Retrieved 6 December 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Super Mario Love Hotel". QI. 6 December 2014. Retrieved 6 December 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Rocking Chair in Space". QI. 12 December 2014. Retrieved 15 December 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Captain Trousers". QI. 19 December 2014. Retrieved 19 December 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Reginald the Red-Nosed Reindeer". QI. 24 December 2014. Retrieved 25 December 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Reginald the Red-Nosed Reindeer". QI. 31 December 2014.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Bloober Reel". QI. 9 January 2015. Retrieved 12 January 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Human Cigarette". QI. 16 January 2015. Retrieved 19 January 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Vegan Fryup". QI. 23 January 2015. Retrieved 26 January 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Travelator in Ancient Rome". QI. 30 January 2015. Retrieved 31 January 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As An Apostle Called Scrotum". QI. 6 February 2015. Retrieved 6 February 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Lonely Starbucks Customer". QI. 14 February 2015. Retrieved 14 February 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Pokemon-Playing Goldfish". QI. 20 February 2015. Retrieved 21 February 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Buff Panda". QI. 25 February 2015. Retrieved 25 February 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Doing It Dinosaur-Style". QI. 27 February 2015. Retrieved 28 February 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Dodecahedral Shredded Wheat". QI. 6 March 2015. Retrieved 7 March 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Worthless Bucket of Urine". QI. 13 March 2015. Retrieved 14 March 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A 3000km Tall Statue of Liberty". QI. 20 March 2015. Retrieved 21 March 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Domesticated Furniture". QI. 27 March 2015. Retrieved 28 March 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Samurai Nail Clippers". QI. 3 April 2015. Retrieved 4 April 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Killer Tomato". QI. 10 April 2015. Retrieved 10 April 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Hoverhorse". QI. 17 April 2015. Retrieved 18 April 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Van Gogh the Elephant". QI. 24 April 2015. Retrieved 24 April 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Old Mother Bastard". QI. 1 May 2015. Retrieved 2 May 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As An Unenjoyable Bowel Movement". QI. 8 May 2015. Retrieved 9 May 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Jesus's Magic Wand". QI. 15 May 2015. Retrieved 16 May 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As The Ugly Panda". QI. 22 May 2015. Retrieved 23 May 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As An Anti-German Sock". QI. 29 May 2015. Retrieved 30 May 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As An Honest Saiga". QI. 5 June 2015. Retrieved 7 June 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Chickenosaurus". QI. 12 June 2015. Retrieved 13 June 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Robotic Margaret Atwood". QI. 19 June 2015. Retrieved 20 June 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As The Hoo-Hah Monologues". QI. 20 June 2015. Retrieved 27 June 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Friendly Face Fondle". QI. 3 July 2015. Retrieved 3 July 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As The Pamplona Guinea Pig Run". QI. 10 July 2015. Retrieved 12 July 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Rat Multiborg". QI. 17 July 2015. Retrieved 17 July 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Somersaulting Long Jumper". QI. 24 July 2015. Retrieved 24 July 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Bacon Telescope". QI. 31 July 2015. Retrieved 1 August 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Useless Condom". QI. 7 August 2015. Retrieved 8 August 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Computer in the Oval Office". QI. 14 August 2015. Retrieved 14 August 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Diarrhea Drive". QI. 21 August 2015. Retrieved 21 August 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Mould Juice". QI. 28 August 2015. Retrieved 29 August 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Pee-Bay". QI. 4 September 2015. Retrieved 5 September 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As An Ugly Pair of Eyes". QI. 11 September 2015. Retrieved 12 September 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Sad High Five". QI. 18 September 2015. Retrieved 18 September 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Mousetrap-Remote-Control". QI. 25 September 2015. Retrieved 25 September 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Mousetrap-Remote-Control". QI. 2 October 2015. Retrieved 2 October 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Sentient Iceberg". QI. 9 October 2015. Retrieved 10 October 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Flying Sniffer Dog". QI. 16 October 2015. Retrieved 16 October 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Donkumentary". QI. 23 October 2015. Retrieved 23 October 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Michaelangelo's Snowman". QI. 30 October 2015. Retrieved 30 October 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Ghost Nipples". QI. 6 November 2015. Retrieved 7 November 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As The Pajama Police". QI. 13 November 2015. Retrieved 13 November 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Fish: The One Show Special". QI. 20 November 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Moon Sausage Bullet". QI. 20 November 2015. Retrieved 21 November 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Utah Fried Chicken". QI. 27 November 2015. Retrieved 1 December 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As The Brilliant Billion". QI. 4 December 2015. Retrieved 4 December 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Apocalypse 1988". QI. 11 December 2015. Retrieved 11 December 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Frozen Chicken Haunting". QI. 18 December 2015. Retrieved 18 December 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Christmas Treenis". QI. 25 December 2015. Retrieved 25 December 2015.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Sexy Mucus Pajamas". QI. 1 January 2016. Retrieved 1 January 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Millipede Embassy". QI. 8 January 2016. Retrieved 8 January 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Touch of Worms". QI. 15 January 2016. Retrieved 16 January 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Andrew Diplodocus Carnegie". QI. 15 January 2016. Retrieved 22 January 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Planet George". QI. 29 January 2016. Retrieved 29 January 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Bread Civilians". QI. 5 February 2016. Retrieved 5 February 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing A Zillion and One". QI. 12 February 2016. Retrieved 12 February 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Giant Robot Michael Jackson". QI. 19 February 2016. Retrieved 19 February 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Water Mortar". QI. 26 February 2016. Retrieved 26 February 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Boa Constructor". QI. 4 March 2016. Retrieved 4 March 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Herd of Koalas". QI. 11 March 2016. Retrieved 11 March 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Pancakes for Perverts". QI. 18 March 2016. Retrieved 18 March 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Six-Tier Japanese Human Pyramid". QI. 25 March 2016. Retrieved 26 March 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Gorillas on the Beach". QI. 1 April 2016. Retrieved 2 April 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Samurai Olaf". QI. 8 April 2016. Retrieved 8 April 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Speared Shrimp". QI. 15 April 2016. Retrieved 16 April 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Dull Post Box". QI. 22 April 2016. Retrieved 22 April 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Snappedy Chat". QI. 29 April 2016. Retrieved 29 April 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Lego Aircraft Carrier". QI. 6 May 2016. Retrieved 7 May 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Flycycle". QI. 13 May 2016. Retrieved 13 May 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Tantrump". QI. 20 May 2016. Retrieved 21 May 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Hummingbird Pilot". QI. 26 May 2016. Retrieved 26 May 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Notting Mountain". QI. 2 June 2016. Retrieved 2 June 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Dr No Teeth". QI. 9 June 2016. Retrieved 9 June 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Dinner on a Spider". QI. 16 June 2016. Retrieved 16 June 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As 4D Surgery". QI. 24 June 2016. Retrieved 24 June 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As HMS Kevin". QI. 1 July 2016. Retrieved 1 July 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As The Sword in the Carbon Fibre". QI. 8 July 2016. Retrieved 8 July 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Sticky Shell Spoon". QI. 15 July 2016. Retrieved 16 July 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Molten Lava Football Pitch". QI. 22 July 2016. Retrieved 22 July 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Screaming Scream". QI. 29 July 2016. Retrieved 29 July 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As An Upside-Down Grand Prix". QI. 5 August 2016. Retrieved 6 August 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Boy Named Blclintn". QI. 12 August 2016. Retrieved 12 August 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As 'Carry On Colliding'". QI. 19 August 2016. Retrieved 21 August 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Million Dollar Bill". QI. 26 August 2016. Retrieved 27 August 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Jack The Stripper". QI. 2 September 2016. Retrieved 3 September 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Train Jam". QI. 9 September 2016. Retrieved 10 September 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Walking the Life Jacket". QI. 16 September 2016. Retrieved 17 September 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Creepy Weather Forecaster". QI. 23 September 2016. Retrieved 24 September 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Paranoid Ants". QI. 30 September 2016. Retrieved 1 October 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Sauce For The King Of Sweden". QI. 7 October 2016. Retrieved 8 October 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Queen of Clean, the Sausage Machine". QI. 14 October 2016. Retrieved 15 October 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Wolf Diving For Clams". QI. 21 October 2016. Retrieved 22 October 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Churchill's Secret Parrot". QI. 28 October 2016. Retrieved 28 October 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Fluff Island". QI. 4 November 2016. Retrieved 4 November 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As A Lobster Nappy". QI. 12 November 2016. Retrieved 12 November 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Books for Pirate-Children". QI. 18 November 2016. Retrieved 19 November 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Ancient Roman Pictionary". QI. 25 November 2016. Retrieved 26 November 2016.
- ↑ "No Such Thing As Edward Bin Bag Handsy". QI. 2 December 2016. Retrieved 2 December 2016.
- ↑ Brobby, Melissa. "Q.I Elves: The World Cup of Facts". VisitEngland. Retrieved 13 June 2014.